One year ago today I got a terrible phone call at 8:03 am. I saw the phone ring, the "Mom" caller ID. In my sleepy, anti-morning person state I ignored it. I had stayed up too late, like many nights in Florida, and I knew she, Daniel, and Dad were flying in to see the show that day. She was probably just calling from the airport to keep me posted. Then I remembered their flight was at 6:30am, they should be in the air right now. Something wasn't right. I listened to the voicemail "Hey Caroline it's Mom. Call me back as soon as you can." and did just that. She asked if I was sitting down and I already knew. "Daddy died." I collapsed on the kitchen floor.
The rest of the day is sort of a blur. It was early, everyone was asleep, but I needed to talk to someone. I went outside and called a few people, no answers. Finally got ahold of my friend Samanthe, who was left speechless. It felt like maybe I was dreaming, and saying it out loud might make me wake up. I didn't know what to do. I went inside and woke up my roommates Caitlin and Marissa and they helped carry out the rest of my day. Everyone pitched in any way they could: Caitlin made muffins and called the producers, Marissa helped me pack and book a flight, Phil just held me while I sobbed and sobbed, Matt made me a very strong bloody mary. Others came over just to give me a hug, wish me off as I left for ten days. The boys went to Best Buy to get me Junior Mints and trashy DVDs for the plane. Andrew offered to tape all the True Blood I would miss and no one would watch it without me.
I got to the airport in one piece with only a minor incident with the desk clerk at the airline...Mom's name was on the ticket because I placed the order by phone and there was a miscommunication and she didn't want to change them. I really believe I was "carried" through this day, because I couldn't have done it without the people around me. After Marissa and Phil cleared this up, they handed me off to Andy. We met on the plane when he asked where I was headed and I burst into tears. I said, "I guess I should forewarn you. My dad died this morning and I'm headed home in the middle of a job. I'll probably be falling apart over and over again on this flight and I'm sorry." The angel that he is, Andy smiled at me and said, "Ok. We'll get through it." Turns out we had lots to talk about and he was willing to ride my emotional roller coaster with me. His mom had passed away in November so he knew where I was. He made me laugh, cried with me, let me write, shared his life, and encouraged me all at cruising altitude. He said I looked pretty even though I was a blotchy, sweaty mess on that 3 hour flight. Thank goodness for email and Facebook, and I'm so glad I can call him my friend today.
Andy handed me off to the DFW airport, and by that time I was so tired I couldn't feel anything. That last leg of the trip was quick and I was soon in my family's arms. What a day. I missed ten days of Drowsy Chaperone, but they too welcomed me back without hesitation. You know the phrase "God doesn't give us anything we can't handle"? I have always struggled with this sentiment, but July 2, 2010, He did hand me to several people who gently carried me home. In addition to contemplating this last year, celebrating my father's life, and mourning his loss, I want to thank the people who were there that day. Thank you Drowsy cast especially- Marissa, Caitlin, Phil, and Matt, and my new friend Andy Owen. I couldn't have gotten back without you.
The love and support continued while I was home. I heard from hundreds of people: Facebook, email, calls, texts, flowers, food, visits to the house. Rachel and Carlyn drove from Dallas and Austin respectively to be with me at the memorial and funeral. Leonard and Alex and Adam sent flowers from NY to the memorial, and their mothers to the services. Carenn and Lauren and Russell and Tina and Sydney and Amy were all at the service. Kelli and Adam called each day just to listen. These were just my personal friends, never mind the hundreds of patients, doctors, family, and other friends who surrounded us. The list goes on and on. And on into my return to Florida, San Antonio, and later New York.
As I reflect on it all, I am humbled by how uplifted I have been. I am grateful to EVERYONE who has been there for me this last year. For being a part of my life, big or small. As I begin this next year, with adventure and travel at hand, I want to thank you for getting me here. I couldn't have done it without you.
Dr. Dave fishin' at the beach, (guessing by Daniel's age) 1995/96
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